The year 2019 is going to one of many changes. Then again, life is full of them so that is not anything new. It seems that after only completing twenty-three days that 2019 is going to be a year in a constant state of flux. One thing that has already changed professionally is that my boss that I started with at work has moved out of state and a new director will take his place. Mind you, this new person will be a stellar addition to the team. However, bosses you click with are few and far between, so he will be missed. I am still half expecting him to walk by my office and getting into a friendly verbal sparring match with me.
Change is inevitable, and it is not necessarily a bad thing. Look at the last two to three years of my life. If that isn’t a textbook example of a lot changing at once I don’t know what is. Rumi said, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Self-reflection is not an easy task for any of us, but it is vital part of the process for personal growth. In 2018 I took some time to figure out where I was (which sucked) but it helped me figure out where I want to go. To start, I took a long hard look at my finances and dealing with reorganizing and restructuring past debts. I am still attempting to save a portion of my budget for fun here and there (races, etc). I am far from done with that process and though it may take me a long time to get where I want to be, I am feeling confident that I will eventually get everything taken care of soon. The goal is to pay everyone off in another three years and start saving for a house (possibly) down the road. Even if that part doesn't happen I will at least be in a better place financially then I was when I began.
Another change in my life is less tangible but nonetheless equally important. I am taking steps to develop my leadership skills and am currently reading books in that area to learn more. I did a lot of that type of self-development when I was in my Master of Science degree but the thing with leadership is that is a skill set that requires constant tinkering. As you grow personally it affects how you develop as a leader. I know that I am in a good place professionally, but I have had times where I have seen the need to take a step back and evaluate how I deal with certain situations. in that light, I started this process with reading “Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts” by Brené Brown. I am only a few chapters in but I have had several "YES!" moments. I love when books connect with you like that.
Another area that I am working on is my personal relationships. Friendships always change and evolve over time. I still maintain many of the same relationships that I have had in the past but some have taken a different direction in the last few years. There doesn’t always have to be some monumental fight or breakdown in communication for that to happen. My life, and how I perceived it, went through a massive revision in a very short amount of time. I am not the same person I was when I first left Las Vegas, and certainly since then my priorities have shifted even more so. My life, your life, everyone’s lives are not what they once were. As a result, we are all still figuring out who we are now. I am trying to decide for myself what impact it has on the relationships in my life. I am setting boundaries where I need them, and reconnecting in areas that my life will allow.
The young are blessed with the notion that time is more so ahead of them than behind them. As I age, I realize that nothing is a given anymore. You have to have faith that things will work out, but you know also that they may not. How one reacts to those changes, and how you learn for them is what makes "adulting" so damn hard at times. I am far from being finished, and I have some big goals. That is the beauty of this year of change. The belief that those goals are within reach.